克利普藍南半球

Only time and space can sort this out. There is no other way.
It’s like in a tug of war and you on the losing end.
You pull, with all your strength and inch by inch you are still being pulled away.
And the pathetic thing is, you are watching this going on and you can not let go.
Let go and you are wrecked, losing the game, your dignity and your soul.

 

It is harder when you are on the other end.

You never want to pull, but I’m still pulled toward you.
I want to let go and head straight to your direction but in your team there is never going to be a place for me.

I’m never your mate, your playmate your soul mate; whatever that is.
Yes, your playmate, that I can be but I can not bear to just be your playmate.

So, all or never becomes a question and the answer is already written.
I already lose it before I can ask for a fair play.

Now there is only less than one month left, so much for the days I can get to see you, talk to you, and be with you.
There is nothing to do but try and prepare myself for days after we part our ways.

I don’t how much it will take to forget you.
The image of you will fade away and become a piece of memory that I will recall once in a while and tell my “the one”.
Deeply I don’t want that to happen but it has to.
So I can move on and fall for the next person, who might be the right one.

CLARE: It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s okay. It’s hard to be the one who stays.

I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I’m tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that’s been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?

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我可以體會那種感受了。

儘管現在我走的時候，心裡多了不情願與留戀，但你走的時候，我胸口就開始隱隱作痛，像被某種巨大的東西塞住，只留一點縫隙，連呼吸都要費力，像是牽連到一條痛神經一樣，輕微吐吶都痛。

 

你佔滿我腦子裡所有可以思維的空間。

你你你你你，像攪和黏稠的泥漿在腦子裡緩慢的流動，企圖鑽進每一個還沒被你攻城掠地的細胞，侵略，佔地，插旗，然後我就不能思考了。

像是一隻巨大的幫浦不停地打氣，把你說過的話，你做過的表情，全都塞進腦袋。

頭痛欲裂。

睜眼是你，閉眼是你。

走路是你，吃飯是你，睡覺是你，醒了還是你。

 

為什麼人要這有這種情緒？

我以為我再也不會對第二個人有這種感覺了。

而你就無預警的闖進來。

我原來是不怎麼喜歡你的，就像當初我不喜歡他一樣。

我們愛過了也分開了。

 

怎麼現在，還有你出現呢？

 

這次是絕望的。

那天浮現這句話時，我心裏一驚，就猛然想到他了。

真的是現世報。現世報來得又急又猛。

因為拖延了這些年，於是加重了刑責嗎？

 

我好像被拖入了一進去入口就封閉的隧道，入口不見了，出口還沒開始挖掘。

 

我是不能喜歡你的。

於情於理都不能。

但是我又要怎麼控制我不能控制的感覺？

可以掩飾，但是無法控制。

我現在真的可以完全瞭解為什麼他那麼

 

我當初是太過分了，連給他一個機會都不能，所以上蒼才讓我認識你嗎？

我像一隻衝往海底的旅鼠，明知前無生路還是埋頭向前跑。

但是我真的不想。

理智一閃個神，原本圍堵得好好的感覺就潰堤四漫。

我現在是沒辦法控制了。

 

你問我他說了什麼，什麼現世報。

我沒說。

你一直猜測，也讓你猜到我說的現世報是指我自己。

 

他當初說，時間就快要到了，你還沒有發現嗎？

 

 

 

 

god i miss you already.

and we just talked to each other less than 2 hours ago!

why do i always fall for someone who is wrong for me and have no feelings for someone who really cares for me?

why do you always get to me like this? you always have your way and i cannot do anything about it.

i am a freakin' loser and i can not change that.

my feelings always beats my reason and has the best of me.

you can not reason feelings but you can reason with logic.

you can not control how you feel but how you think.

i miss you and i can not make myself not think about you.

god humans are such a vulnerable species. i am such a vulnerable wreck.